Updated: Jan 31, 2018
It used to be slightly traumatic for me to be authentic, to be truly who I am, to say exactly how I feel; especially at the cost of not being “liked” or pissing someone off. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know there was individual inside of me because I was drowned in other’s expectations. Maybe it’s because I am a girl and sometimes girls are taught to play nice. (...well not as much anymore with the young girls being brought up today!). Maybe it’s because I was raised by insecure adults who didn’t trust who they were. Regardless, it started to become intensely uncomfortable for me to pretend to play nice. I saw the other humans being individuals, accepting themselves, loving themselves and admitting their needs with confidence. Ummmmm....WTF? Come on now, I want some that.
I started to realize that maybe…since I was not a child anymore - that I could be in charge of my very own legend. As I learn this, every time I tell my truth and my follow my instincts, I feel this space of energy being created inside of myself. I’m uplifted by this intense feeling of hope that I am worthy to trust my gut… always. With more and more practice I become a super brave star. If you'r trying to overcome this too...think of it this way…these people you are trying to impress, are they even concerned with trying to impress you or not offend / piss you off? No? Then save your creative soulful energy for some art and a margarita darlings. Life is to unpredictable for any added drama. As an actress, I get paid for drama. Mama don't do it for free honey. Wrong tree.
We must be the protectors of our own soul. We are responsible for the total and ultimate care of it. How horrifyingly devastating is it that we cannot play the victim?! HA HA HA. And how exhilarating that you get to write your own story.
“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” - Rumi
When you try and please others out of fear and the need for approval, you crawl on the dirty ground. Fuck that…listen to the deepest wisest part of yourself - your soul. I’m not suggesting you be passive or aggressive to others, just love yourself enough to ask for what you want. Be a warrior of your truth and make the choice again and again to be free. EVERY DAY. Shit yeah it’s hard and Goddamn it takes practice…but it feels delicious and powerful.
I just wonder what's behind those closed shut doors. I bet it's a force of life that will set you free.
Let's free ourselves,